The Last Day

Time is interesting, because it's always the same.  Our interpretation and our experience with time are what make it feel like it goes by quickly or drags on. Take today for example, today is the last day of 2020.. a day that nearly ten months ago seemed like an eternity away.  A day that so many have circled on the calendar as a beacon of hope, more so than most years.  And now it's here, 8 hours until the clock strikes midnight.  Like the rest of the world I'm full of reflection on a year unlike any other.  

I could sit here and talk about all I've learned to be grateful for, all I've missed and all I look forward to, but instead, I'd like to write a letter to the small humans in my house.  

Dear Boys, 

I am proud of you.  I am proud of your strength, courage, kindness and resilience.  This year I asked more of you and expected more of you than was probably fair at times. Everything changed for you, in a moment.  It was scary. It was unknown. And at times, none of us, this mama included, handled it well.  And that's ok.  Because together we learned. 

I hope you learned that even when I don't have all the answers, I'll always be here, supporting you, loving you and learning with you.  I hope you learned that sacrifices made for the betterment of others are not easy, but they are good.  I hope you learned that we have been some of the lucky ones- with warm houses and full bellies--and in the future I hope you remember that privilege and you use it help others. I hope you learned that you are strong and you can survive hard times. 

2021 may not open with a bang, or even a whimper, but there are glimpses of hope for a 'normal' life. I hope years from now you reflect on this time, and think not of what you missed, but of what you had. Endless bowls of popcorn and movie snuggles.  Every craft we could imagine.  Midday bike rides.  Books in bed.  And a house overflowing with love.  You did that.  You loved on mom and dad when we needed it.. you randomly gave hugs and told us you loved us which raised our spirits, restored our souls and helped us carry on.  

Thank you for being funny, awesome, loving, kind, courageous, resilient children.  When I look back on 2020, I know I'll be thankful for you. 

With love always,

Mama