A marathon, not a sprint

Last night, I awoke at 250 in the morning.. as I've done more often than I'd like to admit during this pandemic, full of panic and worry.  Everything culminates and the anxiety presents itself as a dynamic case of insomnia that not even a heavy blanket can cure.  But sometimes, its brings me thoughts that have to be put down on paper.. so here ya go. 

The marathon is often used as an example of perseverance.  "It's a marathon, not a sprint" people say when they want to make you feel better when  you're in the thick of things.  Well here we are friends.. in. the. thick. of. things.  

Years ago, when time and my knees were more forgiving I used to run marathons.  I embraced the duration of the training, adhered to the strict schedule and celebrated the time in front of me knowing it ended with an accomplishment.  Sounds kind of familiar to current state, right?  There's a vaccine that's now being distributed, so there is a finish line to this pandemic race that I can see, vaguely in the future.  A marathon is not a race where you can see the finish line for a long time, you can only anticipate it. And that's how I feel now. I know the end is out there somewhere, but when and how do I get there?

If you don't know, a marathon is 26.2 miles. That's a long fucking way to run.  And it hurts, but maybe not how you'd think if you haven't run one.  The marathon is an exercise in both physical and mental strength.  Over the course of the race you experience fear ( March ) , acceptance of the journey in front of you ( April ), enjoyment of the moment you're in ( June ) , pain ( August ), reliance upon your resiliency  (October), pain again, but worse ( November and December holidays ) and optimism that the end is soon ( now ).  But at the end, even when you're full of relief that it's over, it still hurts.  

I want to be in the now.. in the optimism, but for some reason I feel like I'm stuck at mile 20 with screaming quads and spectators saying "you're almost there".  Let me tell you, at mile 20, you're not almost there.. you're the hardest 10k away from the finish.  But as someone who has been there before, I know I can do it.  I know I can do it. ( I said it twice just to convince myself) And I know I can share this with others there as well.  

But on the other hand, let's celebrate mile 20.  We've come so far.  We've seen and embraced the hard work it took to get here.  And now we need to hold on, trust in ourselves. We know that we're close, but aware that there is hard work yet to do. We're entering a stretch in what is normally a tough time of year for many people.  But do not give up..  Keep putting one foot in front of the other.  Know that the end is in sight, and at the end you gain a stripe.  For Toughness.  For resilience. For Kindness.  For Empathy. For Love for your fellow human .  There may not be a medal, but reward yourself for putting in the hard work. Have a post race beer.  Celebrate with those around  you that have done the same.  I've hugged strangers at end of marathons and may do the same here. 

A phrase I've embraced over the years, is "Run the mile you're in". So I'm settled in.  To the pain and the optimism of this season.  And as much as I hate that sign, friends, "You're almost there". 

With love.