Between two birthdays

In about 2 weeks my sweet Fletch will turn 7, a joyous celebration will occur much like the day he was born.  Much like the day I found out I was expecting.  Very much unlike the day about 11 months prior to his arrival when I could no longer carry the child growing inside me. On the day when that child stopped growing, but could not safely, or naturally leave my body.  

I see the signs that say “value them both” and my blood boils.  This argument, while based in what I truly believe is a good place, is flawed.  It only assumes that life is made and life is born.  But we all know that life is messy.  It's not clean.  It's not easy.  Creating a life, and especially a healthy one, is a miracle.  It requires a million things to come together at the perfect time.  And when I see those signs, I am angry.  Because I am alive, and my child is alive and we deserve to be alive. So why not honor my existence and that of my child because without the necessary medical intervention that was provided to me I’m not sure either of us exist. 

I saw something the other day that said the following.. 

The treatment for an ectopic pregnancy is abortion.

The treatment for a septic uterus is abortion.

The treatment for a miscarriage your body won't release is an abortion.

If you can't get those abortions, you die. 

You. Die.

Well enter door number 3. And let me say that I'm happy to be alive. 

I am grateful for a kind, tender doctor who led me through some of the darkest days.  Days I didn’t want to live through.  Days my heart broke into a million pieces over and over again. Days I became a statistic ( 1 in 4)  But you know what put it back together? Fletcher. The fact that I lived and the fact that Fletcher was a reality helped mend my broken heart. Want to read the story of those days, then read this.  https://thetrumansuthershow.blogspot.com/2014/10/numbers-and-numbness.html.  Turns out I wasn't throwing a party. 

My medical record says D&C, dilation and curettage. An abortion. I went to sleep and woke up a changed person.  Did I go in to my pregnancy thinking this is how it would end? Absolutely not.  Did I go in to my pregnancy thinking this is how I wanted it to end?  Absolutely not.  Looking back on this pregnancy am I glad that I had the choice in regards to how it ended?  Absolutely yes.  Because that choice saved my life. And that choice gave me the chance at a future life. That choice gave me Fletcher.  

The early voting polls open tomorrow in Kansas. Election Day is August 2nd.  One day after Fletcher's birthday, and one day before mine.  Kansans have a choice to vote yes or no.  No preserves the law that is already in place. It protects situations like mine.  I shudder to think what may take it's place if this is overturned.  So when you go to the polls, and your mind only thinks of an irresponsible young person who had casual sex and easily chose an abortion(also not how it goes, just so you know), I implore you to think of people like me. I implore you to think of Fletcher and his freckles. And his humor. And his kindness. I implore you to think of him.. and me.  And vote no.  Don’t take away the protections we have and the protections we need.