The Myth of Perfection
I went for a walk today with a friend who has a 3 month old. It was fun to look back 9 months and try to remember what life was like. Those first smiles, those L-O-N-G nights, and the return to work. I was happy to share my successes as well as my struggles, and you know what, it felt to good to air my struggles. It felt good to say out loud 'not every day has been a piece of cake', ' I actually haven't figured it all out yet'. Because you know what, for most of us, we don't have it all figured out. We get overwhelmed, we miss workouts, we're late for work-- we are parents. Just when we think we have it all figured out, something happens--a growth spurt, a change in processes at work, a full moon. Life happens.
So it's kind of cool that tonight, just by chance, I found this quote " We have to stop comparing our worst moments with everyone else's best moments." Whoa.
Hello..and duh, all at the same time. How obvious does that sound, yet how often do I(and so many parents) find myself comparing my worst moment with what someone else is doing? They're always on time, they're involved in more projects at work, they not only made the great recipe they found on Pinterest, but they made it look pretty. Ha! We all know that last part is a sham, so I can at least have that nugget keep me warm at night. :) But really, why do we make ourselves believe that our best effort isn't good enough? It's not like I'm not trying to be on time, but after a night where I get up at 3:45 a.m., change the baby's clothes because he's made a mess of them and "sleep" in the recliner with him for two hours it's really hard to answer that 6 a.m. alarm. Duh again! You have been up since 3:45, it's ok to be tired, it's ok to be 15 minutes late--it's ok that this is today's version of "perfect".
As a person who strives to 'get it right' everyday, I am learning that being a perfect parent means I need to embrace my imperfections. I need to teach my child that not every day is going to go right, but how you react to it is what matters(and sometimes is the only thing within our control). I need him to know that errors and mistakes are what make us human, make us grow and make us lovable. It's good to set the bar high, and to strive to make the best of every day--as long as I remind myself that it's ok to walk in to work 15 minutes late with a giant cup of coffee, accepting as I do, that today may not have been the day it all came together, but there's always tomorrow. ( or the next day...) And when I walk in, I will do so with a smile on my face, because that friends, I can control.
So it's kind of cool that tonight, just by chance, I found this quote " We have to stop comparing our worst moments with everyone else's best moments." Whoa.
Hello..and duh, all at the same time. How obvious does that sound, yet how often do I(and so many parents) find myself comparing my worst moment with what someone else is doing? They're always on time, they're involved in more projects at work, they not only made the great recipe they found on Pinterest, but they made it look pretty. Ha! We all know that last part is a sham, so I can at least have that nugget keep me warm at night. :) But really, why do we make ourselves believe that our best effort isn't good enough? It's not like I'm not trying to be on time, but after a night where I get up at 3:45 a.m., change the baby's clothes because he's made a mess of them and "sleep" in the recliner with him for two hours it's really hard to answer that 6 a.m. alarm. Duh again! You have been up since 3:45, it's ok to be tired, it's ok to be 15 minutes late--it's ok that this is today's version of "perfect".
As a person who strives to 'get it right' everyday, I am learning that being a perfect parent means I need to embrace my imperfections. I need to teach my child that not every day is going to go right, but how you react to it is what matters(and sometimes is the only thing within our control). I need him to know that errors and mistakes are what make us human, make us grow and make us lovable. It's good to set the bar high, and to strive to make the best of every day--as long as I remind myself that it's ok to walk in to work 15 minutes late with a giant cup of coffee, accepting as I do, that today may not have been the day it all came together, but there's always tomorrow. ( or the next day...) And when I walk in, I will do so with a smile on my face, because that friends, I can control.
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