Day one

9/16/2011

1:15 p.m.

It's a boy. Oh my god, it's a boy. He's tiny, he's perfect and he's ours. From across the room I see nurses from the NICU working with our little Truman, rubbing his chest, encouraging him to breathe. I get to hear the occasional whimper, but not the ear blasting scream I am waiting for. Weighed, measured, pictures and then Truman is wheeled away from us.

It's hard to put into words what I was feeling at that moment. I honestly don't think at that point that the situation had even registered as reality to me. I wasn't sure what the implications of having a baby 6 weeks early meant or what was going to happen from this point forward. I was being tended to by my doctor, my husband was lovingly by my side holding my hand and caressing my forehead and my little man was taken to the NICU.

NICU- 4 letters with a huge implication. Neonatal Intensive Care Unit...intensive care. And man do they mean it. A few hours after Truman was born, after I had been moved to a recovery room I was transferred to a wheel chair and wheeled down to see my little guy. I was overwhelmed by the raw emotion of that moment. I was able to see my guy but he was hooked up to wires and monitors and looked so fragile. The doctors and nurses came over to talk to us, to tell us about how they would be caring for him and to offer support.

A neonatologist from Children's Mercy talked to us about how Truman was struggling to breathe, as was evidenced by a collapsing chest every time he tried to take a breath. His recommendation was to intubate ( put a tube down his throat into his lungs ) to assist Truman with his breathing. Chris and I both agreed that we needed to do whatever it took to get our little guy well and gave the go ahead to the doctor.

That night I stayed in the hospital, a few hundred feet away from the NICU. I woke up in the middle of the night to express some breast milk and although I knew I needed the rest, I couldn't resist walking down to the NICU to see my sweet baby boy. Hospitals can actually be peaceful in the middle of the night, and although there was a symphony of beeps and alarms, to be able to lay my hands on my baby was everything to me. To let him know that his mama was there to love him and help him get well was a necessity for me.