Another good-bye

Saying good bye to a loved one is funny, not ha-ha, but interesting in that you think you've said 'good-bye' but then another experience sneaks up on you.  Another time that you requires you to say 'good-bye'.

This weekend I ran the Kansas City half-marathon, a race I had planned to run with my friends Andrea and Michelle.  Instead, on Saturday, Michelle and I ran...with an empty space between us, and an empty space in our heart.  We decided that instead of running for speed, we would just enjoy ourselves while we celebrated our friend.  So with a picture of her on our backs, that is exactly what we did.  We took our time:  we kissed our babies and high fived exuberant children, we commented on the beauty all around us, and we left a flower at every mile.  We held hands as we crossed the finish line, and kneeled down to leave a final rose at the finish.  We carried her with us for 13.1 miles and embraced each other as the emotion of the day overcame us both.

It was hard.  Not the race...the race was fine.  The weather was cold, but good for running.  But the emotions that came with the event were harder than I was expecting.  Running is my safe place, it's the place I go to get away from it all, but it's also the place I always think of Andrea.  The KC marathon has so many memories for me, and so many memories of my friend.  As I ran past mile marker 11, I couldn't help but think back to a few years ago, when I was coming up on mile 24 and my sweet friend was waiting for me, with a handmade sign.  I remembered how she ran with me, told me how proud of me she was and how she told me she would see me at the finish line.  Even in my 'marathon brain', I remember thinking that there was no way she could make it to the finish line by the time I got there...but in true Andrea form, she was there.  Waiting with a hug and a smile.  Waiting to celebrate my success ( and PR). I remembered her giving away her medal one year to a man who had just run his first full marathon, but unfortunately finished after they had run out of medals.  I remembered her pacing first time marathoners and crying tears of happiness with them as they crossed the finish line.  I remembered her spirit.

Everything she was she brought to running, and to this race--because she brought it everywhere with her.  She gave my memories of this race a little something extra, just because she was a part of them--and I know I'm not the only one.  So on Saturday, at a race where I had so often seen her smiling face, I had to look for the joy elsewhere.  In my mind, she sent us gifts all along the way.  She sent a beautiful sunrise and for that I thanked her. She sent beautiful children to cheer us on, and for that I thanked her. She sent strength, courage and love...and for that, I will always thank her.

So on Saturday, I said 'good-bye' again...

Good-bye again sweet friend...I love you.

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